MBA ...according to me..!!!!!!!!

More than 2 months in to MBA , I have slowly stopped figuring out where will I be after 2 years.....

After getting in to a reputed B-school (...whose reputation is at stake after my batch has joined this year...lolzz...), its been only about having hukkas, playing pool, watchin movies, playing FIFA, hanging out at snow point/gulshan, giving auditions for a fresher's nite (....that is scheduled to end before the nite begins...how weird...he he..), taking useless pics with i-pad webcam, deleting all the Research Center mails from the mailbox, updating innumerable google docs with name, e-mail id & mobile no , doing some PPTs where we put some effort to allign margin,pics,content and the rest all is Google zindabad, taking the keys of discussion room to discuss everything other than studies, standing for council elections with a 30 sec speech (...how in 30 sec u can convince someone to committ sucide..he he...), attending some vedanta sessions for mental peace (...that in turn makes u mentally sick...), attending yoga sessions ...where its only our eyes that does the yoga...(...hope u understand GUYS...)....etc etc

If we get some time out of all the above mentioned VALUE ADDITION programs , we try to attend some useful lectures which will decide which stream we shuld prefer ...( ..In turn we decide which stream we shuld not prefer ...)  basikali for ATTENDANCE....

Below is the scene of one such important lecture COST ACCOUNTING ..(...whose test we would be writing in HIGH SPIRITS afta the fresher's nite...he he..)..A lecture that is full of Student bashing....

' COST ' is entering the class at 10:45 am for a 10:30 lecture......

Hellooooooooooo...aaj kya itna hi log present hain....(...the class has already 45 + students still she feels its very less..)...
I will tell  'US'  if this continues..(...hoping that he increases the number of seats next year...which he will surely do..he he...)......lock the door ...

' DRUMMER ' (..that is the only moment when he is awake nd the rest are sleeping..) : 
maam....fff...zzz...sss...(....people start making noises as he has disturbed them from their deep slumber...)...

...technically we cannot stop other students from entering the class...even u r late by 15 minutes...so technically, gradually, manually, madly, deeply......

In the mean time, some of the greatest LATE LATIFS ( ...xcludin me..he he...) enter the class...
Maam got late ....becoz of train / bus / taxi...watever may be the reason...she screams...

Tum logon ko kya bartan maijna padta hain, jhadu pocha karna padta hain, bachon ko sambhalna padta hain, khana banana padta hain...nahi na....then y u people cum late....ghar se jaldi niklo na....

at dis point the lastbenchers have a good & loud laugh that is clearly audible till MIS's staffroom.....

she bounces back....HEELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

then takes in the late comers..(...they are consistent performers...they still cum late...)....

afta a lot of tribulations...the lec begins at 11.05 AM...

...all the commerce grads become alert....as that is the only time these people garner some followers...followers listen to them widout any fuss as they have no other option.....
Followers are specialised in  micro-biology, bio-chemistry, bio-tech, C++, antennas, radio-signals,mechanics,java, dot.net, circuits, ohm's law, kirchoffs law which is simply equal to garbage once u enter the industry....slogged 3-4 years for such a crap.. :) :)

'COST' continues....
I will start with bincard....(...immediately some CHATURS start taking down notes...)...
Kya likhta hain tum log....tumko stenographer banana hain kya...remember karna seekho...yeh MBA hain ...

HEELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......

...continue...stores ledger, ordering cost, carrying cost, total cost, annual demand etc etc...
some CHATURS are still taking down notes when COST is not luking at them...(...they cannot control their instincts..)...

HEELLOOOOOOOO........................

EOQ = root of 2* ann demand*..............

ALUMINI SEC pops out "...Maam it can also be argued that EOQ is essential when annual demand is strategically increased for the output to take over the input..."

A big bouncer for all FOLLOWERS ....they are lost ....cursing themselves for not taking commerce nd following wat their parents, frnds, mamas, chachas, neighbours have told them ...(...hence they are followers...he he ..)...

HEELLOOOOOOOOOO.............(...so many hellos while teaching !!!....then what she wuld tell to receive a phone-call...)

Suddenly one CHATUR throws a googly...maam

" We want to determine the optimal number of units of the product to order so that we minimize the total cost associated with the purchase, delivery and storage of the product. Will it be a good option to go with EOQ ?"
.........some FOLLOWERS have fainted ...some are sleeping nd rest are busy singing " I wanna chiggy-wiggy with you boy "......:)

' COST ' is surprised that how this chatur is so knowledgable...has he already done MBA once...nd replies...I will answer this at the end of the lec....

Another CHATUR....maam..maam..maam......BASIKLI....
(...people r waiting for the question...)....
"...I have done an analysis which will give the EOQ figures for all the sectors when the monsoon is bad...."

COST continues....
Who told you to analyse such topics...read what I have taken in the class....exxam mein wohi aayega....

...some COMPLETE FRESHERS are using this free time to crack PJss, spraying perfurmes nd whisperin "kya pakati hain yaar".....they always behave like freshers...:) :) ....

One FOLLOWER from last-bench strikes with a direct question ..."Will this EOQ be ever used in Industry experience ? Can u plzz name instances where EOQ is used ?"

COST starts feeling Y she started teachin EOQ 2 us....some last benchers are laughing their ass-out 4 no reason...COST looks at the GSEC and screams HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO............GSEC immediately behaves like a council member...:) :)...

Slowly the lec comes to an end and 'COST' continues....
I have completed your portion for this trimester ...from next lec I will take CASE-STUDIES ...(...there are enuf available in class...he he...)....

....some r busy updating their status in FB..." I am in a Relationship "....
...some r busy congratulating the above species for the feat they have achieved ..(...seriously... its a feat for GUYS..he he ...)
...some r wonderin..." How she can finish the portion ? ".....
....some have just attended their first lec in this course....
...some have just made a new copy for COST-ACCOUNTING...:) :) ...

...but thats how MBA works....

Experts say " TIME FLIES "....but i wuld quote " TIME FLIES WHEN YOU ARE HAVING FUN "...
accept MBA as wat it is...it wuld luk like fun...TC

Thanks a lot for ur patience,
....In my above blog, Any Resemblance to Actual Events or Persons Living or Dead is Purely Coincidental...:) :)...


Just take it with a pinch of salt nd be in the spirit of E-BIZ....always remember WE rockzzzz....:)
RAMA....