FACEBOOK ACC 2 me

Facebook...accordin 2 me :)

by Abhishek Ramaswamy on Sunday, September 11, 2011 at 5:19pm

Facebook provides us with the opportunity to be witty as often as we like simply by updating our status message with something funny. But how long have you stared at it wondering what to write?

These are the times u shuld simply Google 4 really nice status and then perform Ctrl+C , Ctrl+V…

U wuld be flooded with 30 likes, 25 comments nd overnight u wuld become the chosen one…THE NEXT MORNING PEOPLE WILL WAVE AT U KEEPIN THAT STATUS IN MIND. Some culd also feel like talkin 2 u becoz they assume u r as interesting as ur last status update…(..but only u kno the truth..:P…)

None of us can be funny all the time, so it’s nice to share from others when we’re a little less inspired.

The 2nd possibility is to simply surf and logout from FB…..human beings find it difficult 2 do J

The 3rd possibility is to like some profile pic of ur friends and make comments like… 

Out of 20 ppl who liked this DP, 17 are guys :P.... stunning pic

(…thanku detective karamchand…:P…)

Super super super super super super super super super cute..........!!!:-*

(..thanku for so many supers…guess u r unemployed sittin at home…)

So confusing yaar,,.. Tu kidhar hain ye pic mein???..

(…this is a pic of underprivileged kids. …how can u search me in dis pic…!!...)

If you’ve ever spent the odd hour or two desperately struggling for ideas, here are a few updates that you can never use. Indian judiciary is soon planning 2 use such updates as punishment for offenders. Medical association of India is planning 2 use them 2 revive patients from Coma…J

 Hope there’s something here that at least raises a smile!

For the first time m not complaining of a Sunday lecture ......... ;-)

(…nd this is the last tym u r postin such updates..:P..)

is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.

(….sometimes its better to ignore such status updates…J …)

it really hurts ya.. :(

(…Sirf ek saridon aur sar dard se aaram…)

What d F**** ..... CR again nt working…Stuck at Matunga

(…Remain stuck there…who asked u to update ?..... J….)

Wen we truly realize dat we r all alone is wen we need others d most nd dey r not there 4 us....!!

(…afta this status even FB is not thr wid u…:P..)

Mistakes are not meant to be forgotten ....... Mistakes give you lesson ........ So I thank all my mistakes of my past for teaching me some good lessons

(…I guess accepting ur friend request was a mistake… :P…)…

I refuse to believe that i don't have what it takes, what's the worst that can happen, you'll fail...

(…I refuse 2 believe , u made such an update…)

Returning home from college at 12:30 am..wading thru knee high watr...while it rained beyond cats and dogs!!! What a night!!!

(..chup kar Barkha dutt….:P…)

tonight is gonna be a good night ! ..:)

(…oho..don forget 2 lock ur door..:P..)

1st day in office.... J 

(…Kam kar…otherwise it wuld be ur last day in office…:P…)

Is tired mentallyDunno y

(…I donno y u wrote this update !!…)

It feels good 2 work with my frends again aftr a long time..!

(…dude!!...the feelin shuld be mutual… :P..)

Bored…-O

(…even FB feels the same about u…:P…)

On my way 2 Belgaum... A beautiful 600kms drive...

(…keep both ur hands on steering …drive safely…)

On my way 2 my birth place

(…criously u need a rebirth…)

There is one Anna and other Dravid ........ Standing their ground for the past few weeks

(…nd ther is U who just comes up wid such Legendary updates… )

Do dil mil rahe hain ....... Magar chupke chupke ........ Sabko ho rahi hain ...... Khabar ..... Chupke chupke

(…Bakwaas kar raha hain …idhar…chupke chupke… J…)

Tu hi re Tu hi re….tere bina main kaise  jiyoon………

(So Ja re…chup ho ja re…yuhi tadpana humko tuuuuuuu….:P…)

RIP my lil white blue yellow feathered friend….

(…Whr was ur summers?...asian paints !!!...:P…)

it hurts...it reallyyy hurts!!!

(…use AMARON Batteries…It Lasts long…really long… J…)

Why do Indians keep killling their children before committing suicide!?

(…Guess those children wanted 2 read ur updates…:P..)

gambhir, just bcos u arent 100% doesnt gv u d liberty to play such a shot + throw away ur wkt. wtf !!!!

(…who gave u d liberty 2 update sumthin every 2 min..!! )

dhoni..biggest f****r..m******d b********dmaha c******a.. bha***a!!!

(…Big-boss chahte hain ki aap galiyon ka upyog na karein.. :P..)

Love 2 hate the one who loves the one I hate 2 love

(….Big-Boss apko nahi chahte hain…)

Gettin royally fucked in office..! Thanx 2 a colleague of mine!!

(…ask him 2 use protection as u r infected by FB virus....:P…)

Epic Cantona ...errr... Eric Cantona !!!!

(…y d fuck FB doesn’t hav a dislike button..)

L&T calling.....

(…to phone utha na.......u can update ur status ltr.......lol…)

after bleeding blue. we bleed white. in 6 months time u get to see the best and the worst in a cric team

(…u r bleeding yellow now…:P…paani dal ..)

Services mgmt :( SAD!!!!

(…dude…does FB pays u for such updates…:P..)

No one's Perfect..Even Pencils come with Erasers..

(..feel like rubbin ur status wid that eraser :P…)

Logged into Orkut for a change. Read all the testimonials written by me and also those written for me. :) :)

(…y u came back 2 FB ?…)

Stop Thinking Too Much, It's Alright Not To Know All The Answers.. !

(..I hav 2…exams r round the corner..:)…)

On my way to coll first thn 2 d airport...heavy rains in Mum...dunno wat awaits in Bhubaneshwar...here I come!!

(…No..dont come !!..)

Bhaichung Bhutia has retiered, I guess

(…Use lifeline..:)..)

 These were some of the classic updates made over a period of tym by some of my legendary frnds…I  thank them from bottom of my heart as it paved the way for another blog of mine…Facebook is just a medium 2 express urself …so don think much and keep making updates that tickles somebody’s funny bone

rgds,

rama

happy dassera :)

Hi,

Today was sad day for the steve jobs admirers and he was a gr8 inspiration for people early in their careers..Due respect 2 the genius !!!!

Just a thought .....its only for fun and hope it tickles ur funny bone...:)

If the below e-biz students send a happy dassera message, it wuld be somewat like dis....

Asha parekh: 

Happy dassera 2 all my bitches,babloos,chuskoos,champus,chimpus etc etc…..

All the co-coordinators know wat they have to do…..only 66 days left for trim-5 exams… God speed !!! 

Rakshak the protector:

HAPPY DASSERA 2 ONE AND ALL. ENJOY OR ELSE MEET ME ON CARROM BOARD

Abhijeet dhar:

ADDING TO OTHERS wishes , I wuld like 2 wish u guys for DIWALI nd NEWYEAR also ..njoy!!

Amit the bansi:

PPY D’ssera 2 al mofos…hav a gr8 2day nd moro !!! ..( 8 characters remaining..)

Humza

Actually its a festival that brings people 2gether with watever spirit that has no match and hence that spirit needs 2 be felt 

by wishing each other watever . so i am wishing u a very prosperous dassera that enlighten ur career and ......bas karrrrrrr

Ankur agarwal:

Pehle Iphone 4S aur aaj Steve jobs...kya dassera...sab moh maya hain..:(

Karthik ganga:

Guys Guys Guys, Dmagics and placements are 2 different things…don’t worry and njoy the day. Happy dassera !!!

Kolu the manager

Olaaaa ooo olaaaaa ooooooooooooo....o ola ola ola oooooooooooo Dassera !!!!!!!

Yogesh coder

Basikalli its a festival...so i feel u guys shuld njoy !!!

Bhavik daveeee

Aaj market bandh hain !!!....apne Man ki karO...njoy this Fataaang day...Happy dassera !!!!

Valla key

WAKA WAKA !!!  Just got a call from ADC...its a holiday...Happy dassera guys !!!  

Note: Goes without saying, No hard feelings...On a serious note, Happy dassera !!!!!!

Cricket is a Funny game

Very few must be surprised by India’s QF birth. Two major reasons for the same is


1) The format of WCUP was specially designed for teams like INDIA & PAKISTAN who can easily find themselves in a bay against teams like Uganda, Libya and Egypt who have recently started playing cricket as a sign of protest against the govt…. J

2) This is best possible team India can ever have for a WCUP….A BIT SERIOUS REASON

Till now the way we have played goes to show that, INDIA can be defeated even there are 10 runs required of 5 overs with 6 wickets left …to our utmost shame those 5 overs would be batting powerplay & still we would lose by 3 runs with DHONI still cooling his heels at the non-striker end…. J J

If a scenario comes where we have to defend a total then only umpires can help us by not calling some genuine no-balls & wides.....nehra or munaf will still make sure that their last over can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory....

Its very difficult to claim moral ascendancy for an Indian fan if the last few overs are bowled by nehras,munafs etc.. :)
The situation will never improve till we have players like Piyush chawla in the WCUP team … (who is 22 & still have not gone through puberty yet… J J…he never understood the essence of hugs from the ZINTAS …)

But still dhoni believes that chawla needs more match pratice becoz his confidence is low....after this statement all people who are low in confidence like A RAJA, SURESH KALMADI , ASHOK CHAUHAN are calling dhoni and asking for a place in the side... :)

Even pakistan make it a point to carry players like KAMRAN COLGATE AKMAL who cant even catch a football to save his life.

Its perfectly conceivable that akmal would drop a regulation edge when 1 run is required to win for the opposition.

They have bowlers like man-beast akhtar who can bowl a no-ball in the above situation.

And if the opposition is INDIA then Gautam gambhir would get run-out and would make a mockery of the game.

Only a fool would bet against multiple events of similar hilarity occuring more than once in a match.

Such events is perhaps the most conclusive evidence of the existence of a supernatural force. The possibilities are endless..

The uncertainties which this wcup carries in incomparable with any other wcups. England tried their best to lose against minnows and simply stunned the ghosts by winning against stronger opponents like Safrica,windies and India.

With such abnormalities , India and Pakistan are touted as favorites for winning this WCUP and as cricket is called the game of uncertainties this could well come true.

Enuf of self-realisation……Rama is back… J J




All the contestants are in the BIG-BOSS house and the hilarious game is about to begin…. J



DAY 1 : SUBAH 8 BAJE



BIG-BOSS has played a song 2 wake up everyone….



Mauja hi Mauja mauja hi mauja Sham Savere Hud Mauja hi Mauja Pyar mein tere Hud Mauja hi Mauja rock d party hud Mauja hi Maujaaaaaa…



Immediately MITHUNDA of our class gets up nd starts dancing…. J



some people r still sleeping,



some r acting as if they r sleeping,



some r watchin him dance nd encouraging him,



some r showing faces as if y d hell BIG-BOSS played this song,



some r thinking he wuld have anyways started dancing even in a pankaj udhas ghazal….. J



HINDI KAVITA even when half-asleep is correcting the lyrics of dis song…” INSTEAD of MAUJA , lyric writer culd have used MORO”….. J J……



By next 20 min all the members are up nd fighting 4 a place in washroom…



GSEC has asked the people 2 follow certain instructions …..eg:



1) Always carry ur towel …. J



2) BOXERS are compulsory for guys no matter whatever u r doin in washroom… J



3) Don’t take more than 15 min…. J



Etc etc…



Contestants are ready for a wholesome Breakfast….during this time COW3 is whispering in the ears of PROF SAAB “how can we survive one whole day here in BIG-BOSS wen we cant survive a 3 hour lecture of MARKET “…..




The above statement was clearly audible to MARKET who was there in the other corner of dinning table….



She immediately replies “…how can u say that ?....am I so bad…. ??? “

PROF SAAB responds… “ Maam Maam Maam Maam BASIKALI Maam Maam Maam…..”
BIG-BOSS Interrupts.. “ BIG-BOSS Chahte hain, Is ghar mein koi CODE-WORD (maam, basikali) ka istemal nahi karega….Jo bhi bolen spashte tarike se bolen “…. J J

COW3 then takes the onus nd explains MARKET what she really meant ... situation is under control…. J
After Breakfast everyone is busy with not so important work…..like



... some are taking a walk and getting 2 know each-other… ( it takes no tym for FRIENDS 2 become cOUPLES…) J



….some r still not out of 12% debenture which ruined their FA paper… J



…some r trying hard to be a part of grp…. (…..not more than 6 in one grp…. J…)



…RESEARCH TARSE is sitting quietly at one corner of the BIG-BOSS house nd is staring at the swimming pool J





DAY 1 : SUBAH 11 BAJE

Suddenly DEPSEC calls everyone to the hall of BIG-BOSS house and requests them to come up with an



Awesome INTRODUCTION about themselves….(…DEPSEC is not yet out of her WAKA WAKA mode… J J)



As BUSSI-ANALYSIS is the senior most…… he starts ….J



“ Hi everybody…I teach Business analysis rite from d day I took birth on planet earth…. J..ghsgk ghskl hsgjkl hsgsjkls……..mgdjdmdhgdj…dsgdsgsfgsfgfdgdfgdfgdgdfgdgdfgfgfgfgfgfgffgfsaddaderrtetty…afta 30 min…. J”…



….others r yawning, .. J



….some r goin to loo,.. J…



…some r making pop-corns as people will surely need a break afta his introduction………



….some r trying to escape 4rom big-boss house… J







BIG-BOSS Interrupts.. “ BIG-BOSS Chahte hain …aapne abhi jo bhi kaha hain , ek paper mein likhkar de…hum ghar jake padh lenge…”….. J…LMFAO



Next in line is MARKET….



“ Hi everybody…I have been teaching MARKETING for last 6 years…( nd those students never took marketing as their specialization… J )………… 2 min later….I always prefer quality hence I use TIDE LIQUID , HALDIRAM MIXTURES, VIM SOAPS……. J……2 min later …



.my brother, husband, muh bola bhai all went to lonavla in TATA SUMO nd they could not find any parking space…. ..”…… J J…(…who cares !!!!!!!)



BIG-BOSS Interrupts.. “ BIG-BOSS Chahte hain …aap sirf apna INTRODUCTION de aur koi BAKWAAS na karein “……… J



others r laughing out loud infront of market….… J



Next in line is AJAY DEVGN….



“ Hi …MY NAME IS AJAY DEVGN ….I have done BSE – IT and was part of patni for 2 years “……



(…people have memorized his introduction along with his tone… J J…)



After lukin at the way he presented himself, BIG-BOSS gifts him a HP DM4 1024TX LAPTOP… J J J J…



(…the same model which he used to have long long ago…. J J …)



Next in line is YEARVILLAGEDO…. J



“ Hi ….I am a student of E-BIZ….nd I update my status every now and then in FB….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”



BIG-BOSS Interrupts….. “ BIG-BOSS Chahte hain …aap plzz MIKE KA istemaal karein… Humein kuch sunayi nahi de raha hain“……… J



….Intro session comes 2 an end….some r getting back to normal stuffs…i.e taking long walks.. J



…RESEARCH TARSE is still at the same corner of the BIG-BOSS house and staring at the swimming pool…. J….







DAY 1 : DOPAHAR 12 BAJE







Its just day one day and people have many doubts……….below r some of d murmurs







“ r they seeing each other ?….r dey goin around ?”



(….gr8… both ur questions means d same…ask sumthing different….J )







“wen we will get lunch ?“



(…plzz try to think sumthing other than food…we just now had break fast.. J )







“How to switch-off the AC ?..”

..(…we r not qualified electricians…. J )
Wen is d next management acc lecture….?


(…dude, u r in big-boss…..)







Can I get a GOLDFLAKE lights…?

…there is no SNOW-POINT here….
Meanwhile ajay devgn is singing songs nd celebrating as he received a lappy from BIG-BOSS….

(….sagar kinare….dil yeh pukare….LAPTOP nahi to mera….koi nahi hain….ooooooo)……… J



DAY 1 : DOPAHAR 2 BAJE

RAMA along with COST prefer rice….and rest r chappati lovers……….


COST is feeling damn hungry and food is not ready yet……..she strikes asusual….

“TUM logon ko khana pakane nahi aata hain kya?….kabhi ghar pe kuch kaam kiya hoga to maloom padega….I have two kids ….one daughter and one son….(congrats.. J)….I have seen them growing in front of me ….Mujhe maloom hain tum logon ka natak….Bamboo milega sabko….jaldi khana lao….”

Petrified by her reply , COW3 quickly cooks something close to dal-rice nd serves her….afta that COST has gone in to silent mode….this is the 2ND instance COST is quite for such a long time…( …J J no one remembers the first instance…J J ….)
….As COW3 became a SENIOR recently, she knows how 2 tackle the faculty… J J…Kudos
Rest all are enjoying roti-bhajji and r having a good time in the dinning hall…..

…COW3 just confirms wid everyone…” Does anybody wants ROTIS ??? “

…PROF SAAB replies…” BASIKALI ek roti…”…. J J… nd he gets it…. (..Just cant beleive it....even bfore sneezing he will say BASIKALI one... J J )

Couples are having a good tym….. Boy and girl r feeding each other and r getting 2 know each other’s taste… J J

Luking at them, SINGLES are feeling bad and r making faces like a FISH DEPRIVED OF SEX…. J J….
…Think twice before dumping ur EX… J… A bird in the hand is worth 2 in bush… J J…)

..SPIKEY DAVE is comparing the weight of each roti wid his own body weight ….and consoles himself…JJ…
PUNE SOACIALITE is not happy with BIG-BOSS as drinks are not allowed in BIG-BOSS house….
(hEre drinks means RASNA… J J J….)

(…he is one guy who can be either seen in MOCHAS, SPORTS BAR, DURGA, HQs, U-TURN, MTC…etc

….if not here, then in the last bench…… J….)

Due to JAI SANTOSHI MAAAA KA VRAT, DEPSEC is not having anything........... :) :)


HINDI KAVITA is planning to do a research on Pillsbury chakki fresh atta using SPSS method… J J…


…all are done with their lunch and some are getting back to normal stuffs…like taking long walks.. J…
At this rate they can easily cover a distance from JUHU 2 MAHIM by walk…. J J…LMFAO…

DAY 1 : SHAAM 5 BAJE

BIG-BOSS calls MARKET to confession room…MARKET enters the confession room and says…

”Hi BIG-BOSS…WOW ….nice SOFA-SET….. I prefer KHAITAN SOFA-SET which I have it in my khandala farm house….” ……(…again….who cares !!!!!!!! J J…)

BIG-BOSS gives her a task & chucks her out of the room………. J

MARKET calls everyone to the hall…The task requires 4 groups and each shuld have equal members…..
…people have already started making their team in mind… ( …and we are genius in this… J J….)
All are there in the hall except one….contestants are confused….from where we can find that one member…

PROF SAAB says….” BASIKALI , I will make a crystal report which can BASIKALI download one member from the slum area near the BIG-BOSS house which will avoid monotonocity….” J J J…..(….asusual REJECTED… J J…)


CHATUR gives a suggestion “…We can demand one more member from the HR department of BIG-BOSS and if we don’t get it, then we will file a litigation to High-court that will challenge the Paternity law of HR clause 1 section 4….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz “……J J …..after his speech more 3 members are missing & DEPSEC has been assigned the task 2 find them…. J J
PUNE SOACIALITE came up wid a kool idea….”Can we consider the couple as a single member…. Then each grp will have equal numbers“…J J….


The BOY & Girl strongly opposed 2 this and said they are just very good friends & again went for a long-walk to spend time constructively….. J J J….(…Guess they shuld be gifted a pair of chappals on their B’days…. J J)

HINDI KAVITA then just went out of the hall for a deep thinking session….and suddenly saw RESEARCH TARSE….. lmfao……. J…finally we got the missing member….

…RESEARCH TARSE is still at same corner of the BIG-BOSS house and staring at the swimming pool…. J….



Everyone feels what is wrong wid this guy….

Some feel his next research project is to generate electricity from swimming pool water…. J J

Some are afraid 2 go near him ….

Finally HINDI KAVITA has the courage….he goes near RESEARCH TARSE….
And says “ HI “…..but no response…J

then HINDI KAVITA makes another try …” MORO lec at 8 AM ..Door will close sharp at 7.55 AM “…. J J

again no response…

…Then HINDI KAVITA nudges him and to his utter dismay, he comes 2 know that RESEARCH TARSE was in a deep slumber…. J J



..Suddenly RESEARCH gets up & yawns ferociously…” aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa ”

(…he woke up afta 24 hours…. J J….)
….nd looks at HINDI KAVITA nd says…” aur…lec kabhi khatam hua…. “…. J J J



HINDI KAVITA then hesitantly explains him , wat is happening in BIG-BOSS house and brings him to hall… J

DAY 1 : SHAAM 7 BAJE
The task is to finish smoking 25 packs of GARAM and LIGHTS in 2 hours…..


The PUNE SOCIALITE starts the task with GR8 enthusiasm….

PROF SAAB wid his excellent smoking ability …….
Sucks all the smoke in air inside him and then passes them out thru his ears and nose… J J J…
(….MARLBORO will ban cigarettes if they watch him smoking one day….. J J J….)

…YEARVILLAGEDO is teaching PROF SAAB how 2 smoke…… J J

…Soon the task comes to an end and as it was completed within 2 hours, BIG-BOSS arranges for an awesome Buffet ….so no need to do another tough task called COOKING …. J



DAY 1 : RAAT 11 BAJE

Afta a long and tiring day ….all have gone to sleep except 2 …. J J….Soon they are going to win GOLD in speed walking category of next Common wealth games and make INDIA proud … KUDOS…. J J




-------------------------------------------------------The END----------------------------------------------------------
Thanku all for reading my blog (….Hope u r not directly reading this message widout reading my above blog… J J…)
Its an Imaginary script based on the Behavior of ALL MY FRIENDS & the Reality show ……..Hope It was an interesting reading 2 all u guys… J
It goes without saying that, These blogs are never to hurt anyone’s feeling but 2 create some Fun & Laughter in an otherwise Not-so-Interesting college days..... & guess I have created that.

….So take it with a pinch of Vinegar….. (….how can I 4get that… J J….)….nd be in the spirit of E-BIZ
Once again………E-BIZ ROCKS……………….TC











..















….

EXAM KE BAAD.......

Exams are over…but d fun element will stay 4 ever… 


The energy that WE students carried for this exam was awesome…in takin photocopy of d notes, makin innumerable phone-calls to understand the portion of d exam, sending mails to verify d same, some even verified the next exam ..  …, coming early 2 d college nd study half of d portion on d day of exam, some came early 2 avoid the rush in Local trains..(…these people think about local trains…even on an exam day…  ), some just come early to enjoy the A.C of reading room.. 

Exam is the time during which FOES become FRIENDS and FRIENDS become COUPLES in the name of Group study…  ….lollzz…nd the rest is history… 

Maximum time was spent on G-mail to get the latest possible soft-copy of d notes…nd 2 xchange some important nd crap mails…….

And u can expect all possible question regarding exam…

• Kal ke liye kya padna hain..?

....(…good morning… )

• Only 1 hr for 60 MCQs? I have heard that the paper is tough...is it?..

(…sorry dude…questions are not out yet…how can we comment..  …)

• Is d exam in techmall or in laptop ?

...(…No, its in snowpoint..  …)

• kal kya pahenna hai? Casuals or formals…?

…(…d second part of ur question clears many doubts…  )

• Senior told…it’s a 4 hr paper…is it?

...(…ask dat senior to write the exam den..  …its a paper not LAGAAN. … )

• wats the scene on vedanta material ?

....(…vendanta itself is a scene…  …)

• any1 has a spare lappy that i can use tomm ??

...(.. dude..we have only stolen lappys…no spare lappys… ..)

And u can expect some replies…

• I believe the last one is Integrated Marketing Communication. Please correct me if I'm wrong !

..(…dude....who has time to correct u…we have lot 2 study..   )

• Last year’s paper is weird

….(…u and ur reply both are weird..  ….)

• Expect anything in paper guys

…..(…thanku so much…u have just now leaked d paper…  )

• Thoda sambhalke copy karna ! pakde gaye toh bohot jyada wat hai

…(…our parents have been telling this for many years…hum nahi sudharenge…   )

• My predictions for tommo exam are:

…(…dude…read it carefully….u have just given us questions 4rom last year’s paper..   )

And some replies will fetch awards for “ Best spam Emails “…

• Thanku so much…that will be helpful…

..(…use REPLY instead of REPLY TO ALL 4 such replies… ….)

• Hey…thanks….tc

..(…No thanks…stop using Gmail…nd start studying 4 exam....   ..)

• E-biz rocks… 

..(…we know dat…but ur reply sucks… ..)

Although exam lasted for a short while as compared to our entire Trim-1, it showed us the importance of the lectures dat we attended and dat we bunked… …nd we terribly missed all the TP which we used to have in d lectures……. …to refresh those fond memories, I will take u back to one such TP lec….

The DEMAND for my blog has been increasing …so I thought of increasing the SUPPLY…..

With d above statement …I am sure u must have guessed the lecture…. 

Its 1.28 PM….

…..students just had their lunch….

….some r yawning to keep themselves alive for more 3 dreadful hours of demand & supply….

...some r still contemplating…to sit 4 dis lec or not….

…some have planned for a movie nd wuld be leaving soon….

…nd the rest…who like to get drilled for several hours….who have low attendance….remain seated

on the screw-fitted chairs that restricts our movements …  ..(damn tough 2 sit continuosly for an hour…)

SERIAL-SPITTER enters d class dot on time…1.30 pm….he brings 2 pages of SUNDARAM Long-size notebooks along with him which contains the matter that wuld be SHOWERED on d class, particularly on d first bench students….  …lolz

SERIAL-SPITTER starts….

“ Today we will cover DEMAND AND SUPPLY…

Law of demand is “ When the price of goods increases then the quantity demanded decreases………………. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz “

He has spoken non-stop for 25 min and area around him is almost wet..(which justifies his name…SERIAL-SPITTER..  …)…first bench students are running for cover…an umbrella is dearly missed at this very moment…  …criously…sometimes its good to be a last-bencher…  

ASHA PAREKH 4rom 2nd bench jumps in…

“Sir I have a doubt….can you explain me d whole concept again…”…

Dats ridiculous dude…first of all its not ‘ A DOUBT ’….

Moreover if SPITTER repeats the same concept 4 another ½ hour….people will go in COMA ….  

Asha parekh is one such sincere guy who can ask doubts even in a Vedanta lec….  

he can laugh for hours for some of the worst PJs cracked by the last benchers and still pays attention 2 d spitter, cost, market etc…nd asks them to repeat d whole concept again saying its just a doubt… 

Asha and his group are generally available in college by 9 am for a 10 am start to avoid road traffic and to get some valuable parking space that justifies their decision to bring car to college….  

SERIAL-SPITTER continues….

“ I will ask only Demand curve shifts and problems in d exam……………………………”

Just 40 min in to the lec , the GAY ..  ..sorry the GUY has started discussing the questions dat are sure-shot in exams…some people are taking it down although , just five min back they came to know dat MANAG ECO is there in TRIM 1 …  

SPITTER has been a part of LONDON SCHOOL OF ECONOMICS after which the school’s credibility came under scanner…

..then wen he started teaching in WE, his own credibility came under scanner…a weird style of teaching during which he keeps adjusting his trouser for no reason….  …his trouser find it very difficult to stay at his hips for long hours …although he wears a belt to counter his trouser’s motion, things really don’t work dat way… 

Last-benchers have just finished one small nap and are getting ready for a big one which will end wen the spitter says BREAK….

Depsec knocks the door enters d class in the middle to handover one of the most IMPORTANT DOCUMENT for any WE student…” THE ATTENDANCE SHEET “…..

It brought a smile in d faces of many soon to be de-barred students…..their purpose to attend dis lec was complete…. they continued doing the normal stuffs like sketching on d last page of their notebook, playing games in d cellfone, etc wid more confidence… 

DEP-SEC came nd went as if SPITTER is a watchman of JW MARRIOT… …

SERIAL-SPITTER continues….

Law of supply is “ When the price of goods increases then the quantity supplied increases………………. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz “

Spitter has not completed his phrase…SHRINAGAR pops in and disturbs the flow with which spitter reads from the 2-sheets…. “ SIR…..SIR …..SIR….”

Spitter loses his cool and responds ferociously ….

“ CAN’T U SEE I HAVE NOT COMPLETED YET…IS THIS THE WAY YOU ASK QUESTIONS TO YOUR PROFS ?…I AM WARNING YOU THIS THE LAST TIME YOU ARE DOING THIS “….

The whole class is in utter shock…

…….Last-benchers who were going in for a big-one came back to their senses ……

……some who were cracking PJs , started behaving like EINSTEINS………..

…..Stenos as-usual were taking down whatever SPITTER told just now…..   

Immediately spitter changed his tone ….”TELL ME..WAT IS UR DOUBT “….

Half of the people were surprised by his APARICHIT-LIKE behavior…..but SHRINAGAR was still able to recall his question…nd things came back to normal…i.e

… Last-benchers again went back to continue their big-one….

…some started cracking PJs again….

..Stenos as-usual were taking down whatever SPITTER told just now…..  

A BREAK was announced afta an eventful first-half……….

BREAK is the time wen some of them find it wise to enter such lec… 

AJAY DEVGN is one such guy….everyday morning he gives a thought to be available in college on time…but very few times that thought gets converted to an actionable plan…. 

He is a technology freak and can write codes, test it, debug it nd deploy d same even 2 save his life… 

…he has a big mobile handset..(…dat doesn’t fit in to his palm…  )… activated with LINUX OS…wow

…Used to have a FULLY-LOADED HP LAPTOP which the thief took for granted…  …

He generally reminds us of school-kids in the old advertisement …”SCHOOL TIME…ACTION KA SCHOOL TIME..”……..  

Soon he is going to release a book titled “ 2 EASY STEPS TO LOSE A LAPPY ”

STEP 1: have a laptop to lose it…. 

STEP 2: attend a roundtable.. ..  

Jokes apart…curiously A very nice and down-to-earth personality..Pretty hard to find in today’s world… SALUTE

BREAK ENDS:…long beak..  

SPITTER continues with his usual irritating tone that can put-off an insomniac to sleep… 

“ When we have a relatively inelastic curve………zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ”

Just arrived AJAY DEVGN is already 2 min in to his afternoon nap.. ..

BRUCH ALMIGHTY jumps in….

“SIR…I have a doubt…the YALL shift of an inelastic YALL curve cannot be YALL compared with the shift of an elastic YALL curve when the demand and supply are moving in opposite direction…”

SPITTER gives a reply which is more complex than the above ques ….

AJAY DEVGN in now snoring…….. 

BRUCH ALMIGHTY is one such knowledgeable guy who can put SPITTER in to a deep slumber… 

He is damn hard-working and helpful… ..

……..AJAY DEVGN is now leaning on neighbor’s shoulder nd sleepin.. 

Neighbor is a COMPLETE FRESHER who is sleeping as if he has taken COCAINE……….. 

One ques from a last –bencher….”SIR….what effect will inflation have on the elasticity”

SPITTER: u asked the same ques in last lec….

OMG !!!!!!!!!!…….last –bencher’s effort to come under the good books of Spitter fell apart terribly……. 

SPITTER CONTINUES…

“..Thats my syllabus…my part in exam will be of 15 marks and …zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz “

Slowly the lec comes to an end …

….some feel as if they have got a new lease of life… 

…some feel they are out of a DRUG REHABILITATION center… 

Its actually not the end, But a new beginning to lead a normal college lyfe……..  

NOTABLE ABSENTEES::

Drummer: …Committed 2 his work-shops and shows … 



Alum Sec: busy teaching FINAN ACC to all followers deprived of commerce background….still they are confident of giving a supplementary… 

Prof Sir: …maam BASIKALI maam maam maam maam BASIKALI maam ……….. ….lolzzzzzzzzzzz



CHATUR: ..trying 2 strike a deal with HR of NANDU publications for a summer internship….. 



Thanks a lot for ur patience, …Below part is copied from my last blog except the word “ VINEGAR “….  



This especially goes to all the charecters whom I have mentioned in my above Blog...

I consider all E-BIZ classmates as my friends nd I hope the feeling is Mutual...:)...Plzz don mind ….

Its a figment of my imagination ...so take it with a pinch of VINEGAR …. 

nd be in the spirit of E-BIZ....

Always remember

E-BIZZ rockzzzz....:)

RAMA....welcum to TRIM–2……. 

Principles of WTF.........

Time has come for some more fun….


There are very few lectures in MBA where one can get 2 know about a lecturer from close quarters…..

….To an extent where we have info about the brands of soaps, shampoos, hand sanitizers, TV, radio, invertors, music system, mixer, grinder, table fan, bulbs, computer, laptops, AC, washing powder.…etc etc used by the lecturer.

And WE have got the privilege to be a part of such a lecture….one of its kind…J

‘MARKET’ enters the classroom on time…sometimes 2 min before schedule…which is a big issue for the ITEMS..(..this time I will include me....) who believe the lecture starts when they enter the classroom…:)

ITEMS are generally the victims of public transport… they leave their place well on time but never reach college on time…

they never get a seat to sit in local trains although they are 1st class pass-holders…no taxi-driver respond to their wave …a respected few just feel they have won half the battle if they reach college at any possible time…nd wat not…J …
…some gets treated like AVATARS as they come from the other side of VASHI-Bridge which many mumbaites are yet to xplore after staying in mumbai for more than 2 decades …J ..

‘MARKET’ continues….
She generally starts with not so important issues ..(..like ‘ wat is the next event in coll’…’ how was the speak for smile sessions ‘….(..where half of them were in tears..he he…)

…nd starts discussing with front-benchers who feel they have been selected for this TREAT….

…Last-benchers feel these jerks are chosen for this TORTURE…J …J

continues….Today I will start with Brand equity nd segmentation….asusual gives an example of

SURF…the way they re-positioned themselves at different point in time…
Some are good in copying whatever she speaks…

N.L.DALMIA has already finished writing 1 page in her copy…
MONACO…jumps inbetween…maam TIDE…

Maam just ignores it…
Again afta 7 seconds…maam TIDE…

Again she talks more about SURF as if she is their brand ambassador…
Again afta 4 seconds…maam TIDE…

This time…his efforts paid-off…she responded…yes TIDE…continues.,.

Tide have grown well in small time…
One Last bencher replies…(…its me guys…)....”Maam they have done well in Rural areas”…she replies…yes…

MARKET Continues…”I use only TIDE liquid..Its way ahead as compared to TIDE powder…It’s a bit costly ..But I prefer only quality”…..Who cares !!!!… J J

N.L.DALMIA has already finished writing 3 pages in her copy…
The same last bencher who comes to college from a remote place feels…people staying that side of vashi bridge are deprived of Regular 24*7 water supply…wat difference will TIDE liquid make in their life…weird…..:)
RAJU SRIVASTAV of e-biz cracks one PJ on tide that goes un-noticed…
Market continues…

RIN did not pick up well….becoz UJALA came in to business…they were offered at low price…

COMPLETE FRESHER replies…True maam…(..as if he had a bath with ujala this morning J )

N.L.DALMIA has finished writing 4+1/2 pages in her copy….suddenly her pen is running out of ink…she asks for a pen to RAJU…and he happily helps her..(…y anyone wuld say no to pretty girls…J .)

PANDU was closely watching the above scene nd felt bad…as he missed a golden oppurtunity to help her out…….never mind…Life is full of oppurtunities…J J

….. PANDU is one good guy in E-biz who is surrounded by all damsels ..he is a KANHAIYA....he never says NO to anything and helps them out by creating websites for them (webex1), by creating websites for them (webex2) nd by creating websites for them (webex3)…J J …

N.L. DALMIA is giving a tough competition to HINDI KAVITA in making notes....

Trust me ...HINDI KAVITA has well written notes even for subjects like Org behaviour nd Intro to e-biz....

He is the author for most of d notes that we r going to study in the forthcoming exams....Shraddha copy center have considered his notes as best sellers nd have already taken 100 photocopies for the next junior batch...:) :)

A guy in 2nd bench.. ..( ..Born in Britain…J …) ..is yawning for the 26th time which indirectly conveys the message…. “Maam We need a Break”……:J J

BREAK:

Immediately PSEC takes this opportunity to announce something very important…everybody takes a keen interest nd listens 2 him as its about their future STANDARD OF LIVING…means PLACEMENTS…J J…(...or else u wuld receive a mail in RED font …J J…so better be attentive…) …

Afta that ...
BRITAIN is already in his 2nd cup of coffee….
some have gone to have FRESH AIR at POINT….
Some are strolling desperately 2 find a group of friends…they just get kicked from every group...J
Some are in classroom itself completing the research paper that they want to submit by EOD…
Some are busy updating their status in FB back to “SINGLE”…J
BREAK ends….

MARKET has brought copies of case study which PANDU distributes in class making sure no one is left out…(…as I told u…he is a good guy…J …)

MARKET finds some students in class who have entered in Break …nd warns them to be on time in future…which… they won’t follow…J…they even don’t know the name of subject which MARKET is teaching………J J
Market continues…

My husband never gets any stains on his shirt so its easy for me to wash his clothes….
My brother carries lots of stains so I use brush to clean them….I prefer only HARIRAM brushes that removes the stains at one go…(…AGAIN WHO CARES !!!!!!!!!!!!!....he he…)…

GSEC is busy sending a mail to all E-BIZ students urging them to attend the Fresher’s nite even though it starts 2 hours late becoz of “ “ J J

…..nd sends a list of instructions that is to be followed …

N.L.DALMIA ….completed 17 pages…again running out of ink…this time KANHAIYA jumps in like SUPERMAN and lends her a REYNOLDS…J J …(…as I told u….life is full of oppurtunities…)

HINDI KAVITA is in his second copy....:) :)

MONACO again … “ maam VANISH “….

People are laughing …y is he asking maam to vanish….then APPLE completes his sentence

“…maam ..he is talkin about vanish washing powder…”

MONACO never completes the phrase that he speaks…he will say one word that becomes a puzzle for the whole class to crack…which we eventually do as WE are 4rom E-BIZ…skilled techies deprived of good teaching staffs…J J..

Slowly the lecture reaches its climax…..a subject named “ PRINCIPLES OF MARKETING”….where no student is aware of any principles related to marketing..:) J

NOTABLE ABSENTEES::

Drummer: …his Polarities are reversed as he is getting ready for an awesome performance at Fresher’s nite…J…dude…

Alum Sec: ‎He did just three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you…J J

Prof Sir: BASIKALI …he has started writing his 5th book…(…finally he has understood…MBA is no longer required in his lyfe…)…J

CHATUR: He is appointed to monitor the spelling mistakes (…monotonocity…) that are bound to happen in the above book…he is in talks with HR of NANDU publications…. J

Complete fresher: ….Most of the time , he is mentally absent....Hence I included him in the list of absentees :) :)....

Thanks a lot for ur patience,
This especially goes to all the charecters whom I have mentioned in my above Blog...
I consider all E-BIZ classmates as my friends nd I hope the feeling is Mutual...:)...Plzz don mind

Its a figment of my imagination ...so take it with a pinch of pepper (..i used salt in my last blog...just 4 a change...) nd be in the spirit of E-BIZ....

Always remember
E-BIZZ rockzzzz....:)

RAMA....will cum up wid more new charecters hopefully...:)









…

MBA ...according to me..!!!!!!!!

More than 2 months in to MBA , I have slowly stopped figuring out where will I be after 2 years.....

After getting in to a reputed B-school (...whose reputation is at stake after my batch has joined this year...lolzz...), its been only about having hukkas, playing pool, watchin movies, playing FIFA, hanging out at snow point/gulshan, giving auditions for a fresher's nite (....that is scheduled to end before the nite begins...how weird...he he..), taking useless pics with i-pad webcam, deleting all the Research Center mails from the mailbox, updating innumerable google docs with name, e-mail id & mobile no , doing some PPTs where we put some effort to allign margin,pics,content and the rest all is Google zindabad, taking the keys of discussion room to discuss everything other than studies, standing for council elections with a 30 sec speech (...how in 30 sec u can convince someone to committ sucide..he he...), attending some vedanta sessions for mental peace (...that in turn makes u mentally sick...), attending yoga sessions ...where its only our eyes that does the yoga...(...hope u understand GUYS...)....etc etc

If we get some time out of all the above mentioned VALUE ADDITION programs , we try to attend some useful lectures which will decide which stream we shuld prefer ...( ..In turn we decide which stream we shuld not prefer ...)  basikali for ATTENDANCE....

Below is the scene of one such important lecture COST ACCOUNTING ..(...whose test we would be writing in HIGH SPIRITS afta the fresher's nite...he he..)..A lecture that is full of Student bashing....

' COST ' is entering the class at 10:45 am for a 10:30 lecture......

Hellooooooooooo...aaj kya itna hi log present hain....(...the class has already 45 + students still she feels its very less..)...
I will tell  'US'  if this continues..(...hoping that he increases the number of seats next year...which he will surely do..he he...)......lock the door ...

' DRUMMER ' (..that is the only moment when he is awake nd the rest are sleeping..) : 
maam....fff...zzz...sss...(....people start making noises as he has disturbed them from their deep slumber...)...

...technically we cannot stop other students from entering the class...even u r late by 15 minutes...so technically, gradually, manually, madly, deeply......

In the mean time, some of the greatest LATE LATIFS ( ...xcludin me..he he...) enter the class...
Maam got late ....becoz of train / bus / taxi...watever may be the reason...she screams...

Tum logon ko kya bartan maijna padta hain, jhadu pocha karna padta hain, bachon ko sambhalna padta hain, khana banana padta hain...nahi na....then y u people cum late....ghar se jaldi niklo na....

at dis point the lastbenchers have a good & loud laugh that is clearly audible till MIS's staffroom.....

she bounces back....HEELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

then takes in the late comers..(...they are consistent performers...they still cum late...)....

afta a lot of tribulations...the lec begins at 11.05 AM...

...all the commerce grads become alert....as that is the only time these people garner some followers...followers listen to them widout any fuss as they have no other option.....
Followers are specialised in  micro-biology, bio-chemistry, bio-tech, C++, antennas, radio-signals,mechanics,java, dot.net, circuits, ohm's law, kirchoffs law which is simply equal to garbage once u enter the industry....slogged 3-4 years for such a crap.. :) :)

'COST' continues....
I will start with bincard....(...immediately some CHATURS start taking down notes...)...
Kya likhta hain tum log....tumko stenographer banana hain kya...remember karna seekho...yeh MBA hain ...

HEELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......

...continue...stores ledger, ordering cost, carrying cost, total cost, annual demand etc etc...
some CHATURS are still taking down notes when COST is not luking at them...(...they cannot control their instincts..)...

HEELLOOOOOOOO........................

EOQ = root of 2* ann demand*..............

ALUMINI SEC pops out "...Maam it can also be argued that EOQ is essential when annual demand is strategically increased for the output to take over the input..."

A big bouncer for all FOLLOWERS ....they are lost ....cursing themselves for not taking commerce nd following wat their parents, frnds, mamas, chachas, neighbours have told them ...(...hence they are followers...he he ..)...

HEELLOOOOOOOOOO.............(...so many hellos while teaching !!!....then what she wuld tell to receive a phone-call...)

Suddenly one CHATUR throws a googly...maam

" We want to determine the optimal number of units of the product to order so that we minimize the total cost associated with the purchase, delivery and storage of the product. Will it be a good option to go with EOQ ?"
.........some FOLLOWERS have fainted ...some are sleeping nd rest are busy singing " I wanna chiggy-wiggy with you boy "......:)

' COST ' is surprised that how this chatur is so knowledgable...has he already done MBA once...nd replies...I will answer this at the end of the lec....

Another CHATUR....maam..maam..maam......BASIKLI....
(...people r waiting for the question...)....
"...I have done an analysis which will give the EOQ figures for all the sectors when the monsoon is bad...."

COST continues....
Who told you to analyse such topics...read what I have taken in the class....exxam mein wohi aayega....

...some COMPLETE FRESHERS are using this free time to crack PJss, spraying perfurmes nd whisperin "kya pakati hain yaar".....they always behave like freshers...:) :) ....

One FOLLOWER from last-bench strikes with a direct question ..."Will this EOQ be ever used in Industry experience ? Can u plzz name instances where EOQ is used ?"

COST starts feeling Y she started teachin EOQ 2 us....some last benchers are laughing their ass-out 4 no reason...COST looks at the GSEC and screams HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO............GSEC immediately behaves like a council member...:) :)...

Slowly the lec comes to an end and 'COST' continues....
I have completed your portion for this trimester ...from next lec I will take CASE-STUDIES ...(...there are enuf available in class...he he...)....

....some r busy updating their status in FB..." I am in a Relationship "....
...some r busy congratulating the above species for the feat they have achieved ..(...seriously... its a feat for GUYS..he he ...)
...some r wonderin..." How she can finish the portion ? ".....
....some have just attended their first lec in this course....
...some have just made a new copy for COST-ACCOUNTING...:) :) ...

...but thats how MBA works....

Experts say " TIME FLIES "....but i wuld quote " TIME FLIES WHEN YOU ARE HAVING FUN "...
accept MBA as wat it is...it wuld luk like fun...TC

Thanks a lot for ur patience,
....In my above blog, Any Resemblance to Actual Events or Persons Living or Dead is Purely Coincidental...:) :)...


Just take it with a pinch of salt nd be in the spirit of E-BIZ....always remember WE rockzzzz....:)
RAMA....